8/30: Unshakeable

When the earthquake hit
I didn’t feel a thing

looked around at all the panicking people
wondering if they were all losing their minds
or if it was just me this time

after shock

rippled through cities
cracking open concrete
that damn near swallowed houses whole

I still felt nothing

but numbness

as if the tsunami of his infidelity
had consumed my ability to function properly

I have been trembling for over 5 months now

the ground is just finally catching up

and I’m sorry to hear about the devastation
but my insides have been cyclonic in an hourglass
swirling ceremonial sands of promises made to me

I am waiting for time to pass by

waiting for relief efforts to be made in my honor

call you Hurricane Dreamkiller

a 10.0 on the bullshit meter

break heart levees and let the flood come crashing down my self-esteem and pride

shoot lightening bolts of “remember-whens”
into empty womb
whenever our eyes meet

thunder cowers at the sound of my cries

have you ever seen mother nature petrified?

she shifts
destructively in skirted regions of the world
but her anxiety
can always be felt in our country

collapsed empires

lost cities

no blushing sunsets

open your history books and see the effects of a woman scorned by her lover

by a god lowercased by his own inability to grow up

so she throws up
entire oceans upon the undeserving

anger eclipses forgiveness

origami wings unfold into scriptures of broken covenant convictions

Pharaoh weeps in his grave
for the plague
you have brought upon yourself

may 10,000 broken promises
fall from glass ceilings
of stone-throwing

let your first-born dream
take its last breath
right before your eyes

may it die in your arms

hold it close
like I cradle my aborted visions of our forever

there is nothing natural
about disastrous realizations
that you have given up your pursuit of Mecca
for an infidel

she tells me

that my ground must be solid
and not easily shook

I tell her
that I’m just a fly ass construction worker
spackling potholes of faith
with poetry and music
and white elephant insecurities
that march my midnights restlessly

I am tired
of being
unshakeable...